final countdown

It's 9:39pm on Friday night and I'm 10 days out from my due date. I have had roughly 20 contractions off and on all day. There for a few hours they were pretty consistent and I started to panic. It's really about to happen. If not today, someday and someday SOON!

If I am honest, there is still a part of me that wants to hold onto this life I know now. Just me, Alf and Kaleb.

We have it down....

We know each other. We get each other and it...well, works.
Kaleb is so easy now. He sleeps well, he eats well, he's almost potty trained and he's just plain fun.
Selfishly, I'm not ready to give myself up to someone else. To give up my body to crazy pain and recovery, to give up my sleep, my routine, my comfort. I keep telling myself it will be easier this time, that I won't experience the same pitfalls and problems.

But I'm scared.

My mind is catapulted back to 2 1/2 years ago and the anxiety creeps in. I try to push it away but it wants to stay like an unwelcomed guest.
The first few months of Kaleb's life were very difficult for me, for us. We didn't adjust well quickly to being new parents and I don't think I ever fully dealt with those emotions. And now here I am, only DAYS away from giving birth to another little one and it's hitting me. hard.

This is just one of the many things I have to give over to God, b/c I have no control over what's about to happen. The only thing I have control over is how I react to what happens.

In my heart, I know that everything in the end will be fine. That I will power through it and we will love this little man just as much as we love and adore Kaleb. It's just the process of getting to that point.

I feel guilty even rereading what I've typed but I had to get it out. I have to be real. I have to be me.

Your Hands by JJ Heller

I can't stop listening to this song...what a comfort to know that no matter what we go through, we are forever held in God's hands.

Pho Sho!!

Kaleb wants to use chopsticks for everything and when I say everything...I mean, even his waffles. So when we introduced him to the Vietnamese dish, Pho, he was on it like white on rice.
Any excuse to use chopsticks and slurp soup, please!
This is a pic of him at our new fave place, Cyclo. There is an old woman that works there and she LOVES Kaleb. She always comes up and touches him and then sits down close to our table and stares at him the whole time. It's so sweet and creepy all at once.
I hope he always has an interest in trying new foods b/c that is so important to us both. You can learn so much about different cultures by their foods.
Cyclo is a must in our restaurant repertoire and if you've never been....you must!
And say hello to the old woman for Kaleb :)

More potty talk

Well, if anyone needs a urine sample from Kaleb they could easily find it on the floor of Jeepers Indoor Amusement Park in Mesa, AZ. *sigh*

Let's just say Thursday didn't go as well as I had hoped.

But thinking back on it, it was completely my fault. Did I really expect my 2 year old that had only been potty training for 3 days to stop riding the train, carousel, toy boats, motorcycles or huge tunnel playground and come tell me, "Mama, please take me to the bathroom, I need to PEE!!"
It's times like that I think I have lost all my braincells to this new babe growing inside me...seriously.
Since then, I learned my lesson and (thanks to the advice of my wise friend, Ashley)I don't have to be such a stickler to the rule of ABSOLUTELY NO DIAPERS NO MATTER WHAT. After all, Julie Fellom (the woman who's potty training program I am following) doesn't have to clean up after him.
So now, anytime we leave the house I make him potty right before we leave, put a diaper on him and then just take him to the potty several times when we are out.
That way, if he has an accident-the diaper comes to the rescue and Mommy is a little less stressed! Ok, A LOT less stressed...

He did great today! Absolutely NO ACCIDENTS!! NONE! And everytime we came home and I took off his diaper-it was dry!!

This little man is getting it, and I couldn't be more proud. I know there is still a LONG road ahead and he will have his accidents here and there but I will celebrate his amazing progress in such a short time and leave it at that.

I will also leave you with this picture...I think it speaks not only to Kaleb's love of music but also that he is pretty much taking this whole potty training thing in stride. Wow, I love this kid.

The Potty Don't Stop

Yesterday was filled with it's own struggles. Both of us were incredibly cranky from staying inside for 2 days and let's just say we had a little after lunch "incident" that almost left both of us crying. I'll spare you all the details, but basically Kaleb threw a tantrum that landed him in his room directly after lunch and since he hadn't gone potty since before lunch, he decided to retaliate and pee all over his bedroom floor.
Score-
Kaleb:1 Mommy:0

The rest of the day was much better though...including when Kaleb saved his 30 minute poop session for after his Daddy came home ;-)
Fortunately that was it for Day 2.
Grand total for that day:
Poops in potty: 3
Pees in potty: lost count
1 pee accident (but really on purpose) ha!

Today actually has been so great. Kaleb takes himself to the potty, claps for himself and tells me play-by-play what is occuring while he's on his big white throne. He's done really well, much better than I anticipated. We even ventured outside for a couple of hours this morning and he told me he needed to pee so we came back inside.
Then later in the evening we went to dinner, just the two of us b/c Alf was working late. When we sat down to eat, I heard Kaleb say "Uh oh, Mama!" and I noticed a wet spot down the front of his shorts.
After a quick change of clothes and wash session in the bathroom, we were back in business. Now at least he knows what it feels like to pee on himself and it's not a good thing!

Grand total for today:
Poops in potty: 3
Pees in potty: 11 (he is getting better at holding it, too!)
and 1 pee accident

The real test will be tomorrow though. We are meeting some friends and their kids for a playdate and lunch that will last at least 2 hours. Hopefully he won't feel the need to christen the floor. :-)
Stay tuned...

It's Pot-ty Time Y'all!!

Sometimes I think I'm crazy but I prefer to call myself....ambitious. That just sounds better anyway. By all accounts, boys are way harder to potty train than girls and the average age for boys to be potty trained is 3. Kaleb is only 2 and 4 months. Not to mention I am WEEKS away (6 to be exact or anytime in between) from giving birth to another bouncing baby boy. gulp.

But the thought of having only one child in diapers makes me giddy sooooooo what I am doing this week?? Staying cooped up in my house with a rambunctious toddler and attempting to get him to go poop and pee in the potty and not on my floor/couch/bed or anywhere else his naked hiney will take him.

Today actually went way better than I expected. I took off his diaper as soon as he woke up, put a portable potty in the living room and a toddler potty seat on top of both toilets in each of our bathrooms and prayed for patience.
Kaleb was into it from the start. He loves sitting on the potty and watching himself go. After a successful morning poo and several pees in the potty, I must admit I was getting a little arrogant. Why do people say this is so hard?

Then it happened.

I got distracted while on the phone with my Mom and the next thing I know Kaleb is painting our living room rug with urine. I tried to not make a big deal of it, quickly cleaning it up and reminding him where the pee goes. He must've been listening b/c not twenty minutes later he told me he wanted to go to the potty so he wouldn't "Go pee on da floor, Mama."

By the end of a long day, the grand total was 3 poops in the potty, I honestly lost count of the number of pees and only 2 pee accidents.
Not too shabby for a first day!! Let's see what tomorrow brings...

Maternity photo shoot

I wasn't up for taking traditional maternity pics this time around...I guess I had kind of a "been there/done that" mentality about it. But my amazing friend, Liz, came to the rescue!! She is such a great photographer and it's been fun watching her grow to find her own personal style through the years.
She found this graffiti wall in downtown Chandler and was dying to try it out! I am so unbelievably happy with how the pics turned out.
Here are a few of the shots I love: