I always knew that becoming a Mom would change me in so many ways, but I honestly never really knew to what extent. Over the last 2 1/2 months, I have done my best to embrace the "new me" while still maintaining some small bit of normalcy of who I was before I took this parenting plunge. Now, instead of reading the latest issue of Cosmo, I devour Parenting in between naps and tummy time sessions. Instead of drooling over Justin Timberlake, I am drooled on. When I trek to Target or TJ Maxx, I always hit the baby section BEFORE I check out the purses or shoes! (Some things will never change!)
But seriously, no book can ever prepare you, no mother can ever explain to you how much your life will be turned upside down in the first few months. It is a journey that every Mom must experience for herself. And then, just like that, you are feeling somewhat right side up again and realizing that this little one depends on you. Not just part of you or most of you, but all of you. It is a realization of both excitement and sheer terror all at once. Excitement about all the things you can teach him and experience with him and terror about somehow doing it all wrong.
I don't know all there is about mothering and I probably never will. But there are a few things I do know...when Kaleb laughs at something as trite as the ceiling fan, it makes our big world seem very small. When Alf sings to him and he coos with delight, it is more romantic than any Hugh Grant film could ever be. And when I hold him in my arms and he looks up at me like I am all he needs, I catch a glimpse of what God intended love to be: simple, pure, and whole. It is a love that I feel blessed to experience and I am forever changed. For the better.
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